DATING CAN BE TOUGH. The process
of finding Mr. Right can sometimes take you on a roller coaster
ride-a ride that you would rather avoid so if boy troubles are
getting you down, then talk to me. E-mail me at DearPapi@qvMagazine.com
There's this older guy I met, and I think he is really cute.
Well, not too long ago, I found out he has a boyfriend. I asked
him about this guy, and he said it was nothing and that he'd
leave him for me. Now I don't know what to do or if I should
trust him. If he were to leave that guy so easily, what would
make me think he wouldn't do the same to me? I am so confused.
Can you give me some advice? -Confused Boricua
Dear Confused Boricua,
I have to question why this guy is interested in dating you when
he already has a boyfriend! To me, that shows a lack of respect
for you and the other guy. You have to ask yourself what would
have happened had you never found out about the other guy! Would
he have held onto both of you? Now that you found out, it's as
if he'll say anything, including, "I'll leave him"
just to keep you. But be smart! If this is the way he's treating
his current boyfriend, then you can almost be certain that he'll
do the same to you! Move on, mijo, and find a new man. In any
case, it's a good thing you found out what kind of a guy he is
in the early stages of your relationship because now, it shouldn't
be difficult to leave that guy. Good luck, mijo
I am a 25 year old Puerto Rican male who is educated, employed,
and I like the finer things in life. However, I can not seem
to find a Latino guy, who's on my same level. Many of the Latino
guys I run into barely have jobs, live at home nine times out
of ten, and are still in the closet. Yes, I find those barrios
boys cute and drop dead gorgeous, but there's nothing upstairs
in their heads. What should I do? -PR Male
Dear PR Male,
There are plenty of Latino guys who are educated, employed and
who enjoy the finer things in life. What you have to do is position
yourself at a place where you think you might find guys like
them! If you want an educated man, then find a guy at a university.
If you want a professional man, then find a man at a professional
organization! Of course, it's a game of chance as you will still
have to figure out if the guy is QV or not. Now if you position
yourself at a QV function, it's still a game of chance as you
will still have to figure out if the guy is a professional, educated,
etc. So my advice is to continue taking those chances because
those men are out there! Also, what you might want to do is create
an organization designed for the people you are looking for and
see what happens. In other words, create a professional Latino
organization where you could meet other professionals. This might
be something that a lot of other people have wanted to see, and
if you do it, not only could it lead you to a pool of qualified
men, but, perhaps, to a man of your liking...and that would be
I was dating this guy for two months while I was in school in
New York, but I had to move back home to Baltimore because of
a family emergency. Now that some time has passed, I'm encouraging
this guy to move to Baltimore with me, especially since he just
graduated, has a degree, and is having some family problems in
New York. Even though I'm ensuring him that I will take care
of him, he keeps telling me that he's scared to do so. What should
I do? -Mike
It's always a scary thing to leave something you know for the
unknown. In this case, it seems as if this guy is scared to leave
everything he has established in New York. After all, that's
where he was going to school and that's where his family still
lives. To leave all of this behind, especially for a guy he has
only dated for two months...is a little too soon. I know you
don't want to hear this but try not to "pressure" him
into leaving New York-and so quickly, too. If you really feel
that strongly for him, then make the first move and move back
to New York, where you first met him!
I'm 19 years old, and I recently left my old job for a new one.
While I was at my old job, I was working with this cute guy for
a while. We didn't really talk that much until the last two weeks.
Now I like him very much and want to throw some moves on him,
but I am too scared. I was wondering if you had any suggestions
on how I can ask him out, or at least, let him know what's up
with me...without scaring him away. -Lonely&NLov
The only way to let him know what's up with you is to come out!
If it helps any, it should be a little easier to do so now that
you are not working with him. What you can do is start slowly
and test the waters. You could, perhaps, call him on the phone,
talk to him, then bring up the subject of QV people. Ask him
how he would feel if one of his best friends came out to him.
See how he would react. And if everything was favorable, then
move on to the next step and slowly let him know about yourself.
One good thing about doing it over the phone is that if at any
time, he reacts negatively, then the worse that could happen
is that he would just hang up on you! No matter what you choose
to do, just be safe in doing so! Good luck!
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